My Point of View

Moving After 50 years of Living in one Home!

Last week my sister and I had the daunting task of moving our parents from the home they have lived in for 50 years into a senior independent living community.  We grew up in this house and lived there until we left for college and got married. This was where my sister & I laughed, fought and cried together.  It is where our foundation was laid.

As a La Jolla Realtor I am used to dealing with families that are selling their childhood homes and moving seniors, but this was my home!  I wasn’t expecting the overwhelming emotions I felt as my sister & I began to pack up the house. My sister always said I cried at the drop of a hat, and she was right. When I looked out the window into the backyard and saw the three huge Torrey Pine trees that were standing tall, my eyes began to get teary. I was remembering that my Mom planted those trees 40 years ago, and the spot where our beloved dog Champagne was buried. I do cry easily.

I am sure the decision to sell the family house must be a difficult one for all families. But our decision became easier when my sister and I realized the responsibility of maintaining the house was becoming too much for my parents. For the past year and a half my sister and I researched different senior communities for them in the San Diego area. We ended up choosing the Classic Residence by Hyatt for its location, which is close to me and the many different levels of care offered.

During this process I discovered some tips I like to share which might help you when the time comes to move your loved ones out of their home:

•  Get the whole Family on board.  Everyone must agree with the decision. Even though you might be tempted don’t “surprise” a family member by sorting through their stuff when they aren’t there. If you try to make decisions for them about their belongings you are asking for controversy.
•  Don’t get rid of everything.  Try to encourage the person who is moving to be involved and participate in decisions if they can. Don’t be tempted to throw away old furniture and buy brand new pieces for your parent’s new home. They will be more comfortable in the new setting if you let them pick certain pieces of furniture they are used to. Sentimental value often counts more the aesthetics. 
•  Work slowly when packing up — think months, not days. It is important to remember that your parent’s home is the place where they feel most comfortable filled with their memories and life stories. It really needs to be a three- to four-month process. You need to give an older adult time to go through the love letters, photographs and cards.  Work room by room when organizing the move. 
• Be realistic about the size of your older relative’s new place.  Make sure you have a floor plan to scale so you know the furniture you decide to take with you will really fit in the new place.  Be realistic about space constraints up front. There are many organizations and charities willing to come to your door to pick up donations of things you will be unable to use.

 We were fortunate to hire a wonderful woman who helped us coordinate my parents move. She organized the movers, helped with the sorting of items and even hired a contractor to customize the closets in their new home. It made the process go so much more smoothly. If you want her name or other helpful hints please give me a call 619.980.2738 or visit my website.